Marlene's Diary
by hotpink jellybean
Summary: Marlene writes about her daily adventures at the zoo.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Diary,

I can't believe I'm doing this. But I have to do something while the penguins stalk my home because they think a mental racoon is trying to destroy the zoo. Funny story, I'll tell ya later.

The strangest thing happened today. Kowalski walked in one me while I was combing my fur! He wanted me to answer some questions about the zoo.

So I told him, "Excuse me?" But I asked really sarcasticlly. Like one of those snobs you always here about. He looked at me for a second, confused. Then he went outside and knocked.

The other penguins hve did that too. Rico would come in and have this really shocked and embarrased look on his face. Then he goes and comes back in two hours.

Skipper will come in and ask really stupid questions. Here's one conversation we had:

"Can I borrow your pillow to go to Canada?"

"Why do you need my pillow to go to Canada?"

"That's classified information."

"What?"

When Private comes in he's so sweet! He'll come in to get one of the other penguins. And when he sees me getting annoyed, he'll cover his eyes, drag the penguin out, and beg that I'll forgive him for walking in when I need privacy. Then tomorrow I'd get a bunch of flowers from him.

But I honestly think it's no big deal. I'm just brushing my fur! Anyway, the guys want me to get questioned.

* * *

Dear Diary,

I said that I would tell you why the penguins are trying to capture a racoon. So here it is.

Kowalski found footprints in my habitat. And because they're penguins, they decided it was an enemy agent trying to steal a invention or something. So now, I'm locked in my home. One of these days, I have to know how they think. But I think it was just my footprints.

* * *

Dear Diary,

Ha! I was right! It was my footprint!

Anyway, now the penguins want to make it to me, by going camping! Yeah, that'll make everything better. Hey, did I mention that it's Kowalski's birthday in a few days? The penguins don't celebrate birthdays. So I think this'll be the first birthday party for Kowalski as soon as I put it together.

Do you ever have nightmares? Like, continuous nightmares? I have this one where a giant tiger comes and starts eating everyone in the zoo. And then when I'm about to get eaten, I wake up.

Kowalski has on where his invention goes wrong, and everyone in the zoo dies. And he has to live life without anyone friends or anything. And he has to live with the thought of knowing that he killed Skipper, Rico, and Private.

Rico has one where he goes on a rampage and destroys everything in New York. I'm not sure if it's an actually likes i or not, but he says it's a nightmare.

Skipper has one where he wakes up screaming. I don't know what it's about though. I asked Kowalski about it, and he said that only Private knows what it's about.

And finally, Private. He has one where he kills Skipper, Kowalski and Rico. And everyone saw it. There's some more things that happen, but he won't tell anyone about it.

Anyway, the camping trip is tommorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

Skipper is out getting some suppilies for the camping trip. So me, Kowalski, Private and Rico made a list of stuff S kipper can't do. Here's what we came up with.

1. Can't sing

2. Can't cook

3. Can't admit to things easily

4. Can'to Denmark

It's impressive, considering our own lists. When Skipper came back, we had to hid it. But something tells me he already knew about it. Stupid paranoia.

Anyway, I'm tired, so I'll tell you what happened tomorrow.

* * *

Dear Diary,

I've decided that if I had to date one of the penguins, it would be Kowalski. He's smart, funny, cute, and surprisingly really strong. I think I fell in love with him when he was showing me how to swim in really deep water.

Private, Skipper and Rico left for really no reason. And Kowalski asked me to go swimming with him. I said that I can't go swimming in the lake becaue I can't swim in deep water. He took my paw in his flipper and said that he'll teach me.

My face almost came off because I was blushing so much. And by the way. Here are some things I didn't understand. Why I didn't go farrell, and why I we were camping in the park.

We stepped into the water, still holding 'hands' I might add. He stepped in front of me and took my other pw in his. His flipper felt so smooth and strong. I seriously almost fainted.

"Just start swimming like you usually do," Kowalski encouraged.

"Easy for you to say," I mumbled, but followed him deeper in the water. Sooner or later I started to swim with him. I could've stayed with him forever. But Skipper and the others came back.

"Sorry Marlene," Skipper said, "But we have to wake up early tommorrow. Jimmy no fingers is selling is boat tommorrow. And I want first dibs."

I decided not to ask about it and went to bed. But that's when the weirdest thing happened.

I woke up in the middle of the night by the sound of someone screaming. I looked beside me, and saw that it was Skipper. Kowalski and Rico were behind me. And Private was next to Skipper.

Skipper woke up almost at the same time as Private. Skipper was looking around randomly, like he lost something. "Where is it?" He shrieked. "Where is it?"

Private sat up and reached behind him. Where apprently his teddy bear was. He handed it to Skipper, who's face was filled with tears. Skipper took it and went back to sleep like nothing happened. Turns out Kowalski and Rico didn't wake up. Like it was completely normal.

"What was that?" I asked.

Private looked up in surprise. His face melted into a frown. "Shut up!" He nearly screamed. Private doesn't say shut up often. So if he does, you better listen.

It was weird night. For one, I didn't know Private had a teddy bear, especially one from the zoo gift shop. And I didn't know Skipper woke up crying and screaming. And I also didn't know that I could dream about Kowalski.


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Diary,

I asked Kowalski why Skipper woke up screaming the other night. He said it was because of Skipper's reoccuring nightmare. What really bugs me is that I don't know what it is. Maybe I'll give private a peanutbutter winky, and he'll tell me.

Remember yesterday when Skipper said he was going to get a boat from Jimmy no fingers? Well he wasn't kidding. He asked me if I wanted to go with him. Which surprised me, because he never wants me to go with hi on a 'mission'. So he was probably planning to do something. Why I said yes I have no idea.

Kowalski is coming with me and Skipper. Apprently Private isn't coming because Skipper is embarressed of what happened last night. Rico isn't coming either, why I have no idea. But something tells me it had something to do with a chainsaw.

"By the way," Skipper said when we got close to an abandoned junk yard, "You have to pretend to bo my wife."

"What?" I demanded. I knew it! That's why he wanted me to come!

"Jimmy isn't going to sell me his boat unless I have a wife." Skipper explained. "You were the closest thing I could find." He added with a wink.

"I was hoping for a better proposal." I muttered. "Or at least a first date."

So I ended up putting my head on his shoulders. He put his arm around me, and held back a frown. Honestly, I'm still kinda into Kowalski, but Skipper would be a little more mysterious. Rico would be dangerous. And Private would be the cutest roantic ever.

We got into the junk yard, where a man jumped out of a pile of trash. He kind of towered over us. He had dark blonde hair. A scar running down his face. And he honestly didn't have any fingers on his left hand. No joke. He even looked a little crazy, or insane. Which ever you prefer.

"So is this the wife skipper?" The man asked. I think it was jimmy no fingers. For obvious reasons.

Skipper nodded. "My wife. She's pretty useless though."

"You didn't think I was so useless last night." I said. I couldn't resist. Skipper smiled a little, at least, I hope it was a smile. I heard Kowalski behind us chuckle a little. And I even saw Jimmy smirk.

There's more to this. But I'm tired. So I'll tell you about it later. And trust me, it did not end good. But it did end funnily. If that's even a word. My question is where Kowalski found those rockets. It was probably something dangerous and illigal. And I obviously don't want to know about it. (Skipper)

* * *

Dear Marlene's Diary,

I can't believe you have a diary! By the way, this is Skipper. I didn't know you liked Kowalski! And I can't believe your actually writing down what happened with Jimmy no fingers.

In that case, your not getting this diary back. What happened with Jimmy is nothing your diary should know. By the way, I'm sending the bill for my tuxedo you peed on.


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Diary,

Yes, skipper stole my diary. I went to his hq to get it back. And they really didn't want me to get it back. There were lazers, fire, and sleeping gas. Fortunately, they didn't guard the off switch.

So, I guess I can't tell you about what happened with jimmy no fingers. Good story though.

I cornered private today. I made him tell me about skipper's nightmare. He hesitated for a little, but then I waved a peanut butter winky in his face and he caved.

He said that it started on a normal day in the zoo. And then the scy started to go dark. All of a sudden a wolf would come. The wolf would come and corner all the penguins. Then the wolf would kill Kowalski and Rico, and then corner Private. Skipper would try to save him, but then Private would turn into this weird monster. Skipper and Private would fight, and then Skipper would get banished from the zoo. So skipper would be sitting on the edge of the zoo when a little penguin would come up. The litle penguin would hug skipper then disappear. And that's when Skipper would wake up screaming.

After he told me, it got pretty awkward. So I asked what his nightmare was. He walked away right after I asked.

Tommorrow is gonna be an awkward movie night. Especially because now Kowalski knows I like him. Or liked him. I've gotten over my crush for him and moved on to Skipper. Shut up. I can change my crushes.

Dear Diary,

I am so freaked out.

Today I went to the penguins place with three movies I knew they would hate. (the last song, the back up plan, and camp rock 2) When I walked in, I saw rico trying to kiss skipper!

Skipper was playing poker with Private. And he was pushing rico back while rico had his 'lips' puckered. Private wasn't paying attention to them, only to his hand. And Kowalski was hiding something behind his back. Which meant it was both dangerous and illegal.

"Rico!" I yelled, "What are you doing!"

Skipper was the only one to look at me. He shrugged and said, "He's tring to kiss me." It was weird how calm he was. Made me mad.

"Why?" I asked, still looking at rico who was still trying to get a kiss. Skipper shoved him again. And this time rico fell to the ground and stayed there.

"When we were younger," Skipper started, "Rico always kissed Kowalski and Private when they were scared." He looked at Private, then at Kowalski teasingly.

"He only kissed me for a year," Kowalski announced.

"Really?" Skipper taughnted. "I thought it was two years. And three for Private."

"One and a half." Kowalski said, sounding embarressed. I gigled a little and he looked at me with a hurt face. So I threw Miley Cyrus right at him. Well, her movie anyway.

"But rico never got one kiss from Skipper," Private said, he still hadn't looked at me. I think he felt bad about selling out Skipper's secret to me. "And rico could never live with that."

Skipper looked at Private, confused. But he continued the story. "So now rico will try to get a kiss whenever he can."

It's a long story about what happened with the movies. So I'll tell you later.


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Diary,

Okay, okay, here's what happened at the movie night. Usually, Private is the first one asleep. Not tonight though, he was the second one asleep. The first one asleep was rico, who apparently doesn't like a movie about two musical camps singing out there problems. Private then fell fast asleep, and I swear he was sleeping cutely on purpose. I don't like him, it's just that he is so adorable! Kowalski was next to fall asleep. But he fell asleep at our second movie, the back up plan.

Skipper was surprizingly the only one to fall asleep. I was awake for half of the last movie (the last song). And he was actually really fun to talk to. You know, except for his stupid questions. Here was part our conversation.

"I still need your pillow."

"For Canada? Why do you need it?"

"It's to keep the anvil shaped coyote warm."

"What?"

So I decided to change the conversation. I really just couldn't understand why Skipper needed my pillow to go to Canada to keep an anvil shaped coyote warm. Say that sentance aloud and try to keep a straight face. Go ahead.

"So, Private told me about your nightmare." I said slowly.

Skipper didn't say anything. He just stared at me for five minutes. Then he stared at Private for ten. His face was a strangers. It was full with anger and hatred.

"It was about a wolf and this little penguin you found." I continued. I didn't want Skipper to be mad at PPrivate while he was sleeping. "It was also about Kowalski and Rico dieing. And Private becoming a monster."

We didn't say anything after that. He left and I fell asleep. And guess which part I fell asleep at? The part here the father died.

Dear Diary,

You know how Skipper left last night? Well, he came back screaming like an idiot. He came into my habitat and started to break everything in sight. I just sat in a small crner and watched him destroy my home. What am I supposed to do? You do not want to get in the middle of an insane penguin and a pillow that he apparently wants to bring to Canada.

Kowalski, Rico and Private came eventually. But boy did Skipper fight. He was slamming them against walls and he even threw Kowalski in the pond outside my habitat. But it was odd. Skipper would never hurt them like that. Bay the end, Private had been completely knocked. Kowalski had broken a flipper and hurt himself to keep conscious. And Rico was breathing in panting breaths.

Oh my God. Was Skipper that angry at me? Was he that angry at Private? Did I brake up the team? The only thing good about this is now nobody is gonna try to flirt/steal Skipper from me.

Shut up. I try to look at the positive.


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Diary,

I felt bad about what happened to Skipper, so I went over to the penguin's habitat. Sometimes, I hate having emootions. Mostly guilt and love. Isn't it weird how whenever something bad happens around here, the lemers always look suspicious? And... metal?

"Hi Marlene," Kowalski said when I walked in. He caught me by surprise and I fell over and landed on what looked like a bomb. I was so scared that I jumped up and 'accidently' hugged Kowalski. It was half cowering, but mostly a hug.

His smile was creepy.

"Calm down Marlene." He shoved me away and grabbed the bomb. "It's just an oreo." He took a bite of it and I winced back in disgust.

"I fell on that," I muttered. Then I turned to him, with a very serious look. "So, what's up with Skipper. And where's Rico and Private?" I added quickly.

Kowalski stopped eating the oversized and bomb shaped oreo. He turned to me. And, at the exact same time, we both smiled softly at eachother. It was moment. A beautiful small moment with soft smiles and an oreo that tried to kill me.

"We found out what happened to Skipper, well, I did." Kowalski said, and we both smiled. Then we got serious again. "He was poisoned. But we don't know why are by who." He sat down next to me on the ground. "Rico and Private went to go find some clues or... something."

He was exhausted. I could even see some more scars on him. And yes, even his flipper wrists. At first, I thought he was emo. But then I thought that he would never do something like that.

"If Rico and Private found out who poisoned him..." I let the sentance hang. If the same thing happened to Rico and Private, Kowalski would be the only one to stop them. And it took three penguins to take Skipper down. I could just imagine Rico and a chainsaw and him on a rampage. I shuddered at the thought.

Kowalski looked up like he just realised something really important. His eyes went wide and his mouth flew open. I had an urge to say, 'who's the smart one know huh?' But of course, I kept my mouth shut. You do NOT want to ever in a fight with a mad Kowalski. Did that once. Not a plesant story.

Dear Diary,

I'm seriously worried now. Rico and Private didn't come back last night. I ended up getting so scared that I slept at the penguins hq. I slept on the floor and Kowalski slept in his own bed. And Skipper was held in Kowalski's lab. He had calmed down a lot. So we're gonna let him out today. We need as much help as we can get.

Kowalski was explaining what happened yesterday.

"So then Marlene was attack by a big bomb shaped oreo." He said. He didn't mention about how I jumped into his arms and hugged him. Yeah, such a gentlemen. Skipper looked at me like I was on drugs or something. Even though he was the one who was druged, kinda.

"Then Marlene mentioned that Rico and Private were probably in trouble. And they still haven't come back." Kowalski added before Skipper and I could get in a fight.

Skipper crossed his arms. "Well then we have to find them, tonight." He said stubbornly.

I shook my head. "The health inspector is coming. He'll be watching every animal at once, closely. And he'll be here for the rest of the week."

This would have been really bad to hear. Because two penguins were missing, and today's Tuesday. Then, both of them looked at me. Smiling at me with really creepy and evil smiles.

I raised an eyebrow. "What?" I asked suspiciously.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Sorry if I update fast. It's just that this thing is addicting to write for! And if you have any ideas to put in (maybe want to include some oc's, make Marlene jealous or something) just pm me.

* * *

Dear Diary,

When the penguins get back, I am going to kill them. I. Will. Kill. Them. I am being insanely serious.

Basically, I'm dressed up like a penguin. Here was the plan. Skipper and Kowalski are going to go save/find Private and Rico. Meanwhile, to keep the health inspecter unsuspicious, I had to pose as a penguin to keep the other penguin dolls safe. Apparently they thought that the health inspector wouldn't pay attention to the otter.

Anyway, I'm just standing on top of their hq, writing into this diary right now. And you know what? The inspector thought he was crazy when he saw an otter/penguin writing into a diary. Heh heh. Idiot.

So, to get revenge on the penguins brilliant plan, I stole their ipods. Why they have ipods I have no idea. Seriously, the penguins, they are insane!

I listened to Skipper's ipod first. His first song on his playlist is something by pink floyd. It was pretty good. Maybe I'll keep this ipod...

When I listened to rico's... Well, I'm just mentally scared right now.

Kowalski's first song was kinda odd. It was a parody of something. The song he downloaded was called mathmaticious. It made me laugh so hard. So usual for Kowalski to do something like that.

And Private's ipod was so cute. His first song was something by Miley Cyrus. I think it was fly on the wall. And weirdly enough, all his other songs were by Miley Cyrus too. I think he has a celebrity crush or something... heh. Blackmail.

Dear Diary,

Where are thoose penguins! They promised they would be back today! Well, they didn't pay me for an extra day. So if anybody gets suspicious, it's their fault. Plus, I'm hanging out with the lemurs today!

They have a lot of music.

Anyway, we were listening to Dynamite when Julian asked me to dance. I said yes and he took my hand. I had a glimpse of Kowalski when I stepped forward with him. And Julian was smiling at me. But not his weird creepy smile. But a nice and sweet smile.

Great. First I feel in love with Kowalski. Then Skipper. And now Julian. I am so angry at emotionms! Once you think about it, that sentance is actually really ironic.

I just discovered that I can really dance. Like a really good dancer. Then the song I love the way you lie came on. And let me tell you, I love this song. So I sang it.

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. But that's alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, but that's alright because I love the way you lie."

And then I saw a bolt on the ground. I looked up at Julian with a questioning look. Then he shoved me in a potato sack. What really pissed me off is that I fell in love with a... Julian robot?

* * *

AN: Remember to read the first AN! It's Important! I want your OC's!


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Diary,

I am going to kill the penguins. No, seriously, they're dead.

Turns out the whole thing with missing penguins was all a prank. And you know why they pulled the stupid prank on me? Because I forgot Kowalski's birthday. Great. They made me feel bad. So today I went over there at night and was going to give them a piece of my mind.

I got onto the top of the island thing when I saw Skipper lying there on the ground. I think he was stargazing. Perfect. I was going to fall for him again. I hate love.

"Hey Skipper. what's up?" I asked.

"Nothing much. Just wondering how the team and I can get to the moon. We tried once and Kowalski forgot to carry the two. So we're going to try again."

"You know Skipper, you need to lighten up. I mean, the second somebody does something wrong, you have to get revenge. And if your going on a road trip, I'm coming."

Skipper laughed as I laied down with him. "You can't go to he moon. Space squids Marlene. Space. Squids. You couldn't handle it."

"I'll have you know I took a kung fu class fighting space squids. They're not that tough. If you have a grill with you anyway."

Skipper laughed again. "Your just here so you can get revenge on us for our prank."

"No. That's not the whole reason."

He sighed and stood up to leave. "Well, I don't care either way. Good night."

"Wait, Skipper?"

"Yes, Marlene?"

"Can you get me a glass of water?"

"Shut up and go home."

* * *

Dear Diary,

I felt mad about the penguins making me feel bad. So I went into their habitat and stole their Ipods. So they came in my habitat and stole my Diary. And, of coarse, I went to go get it back. That's how I found out the penguins wrote in it. They wasted two whole pages writing stuff like this:

Skipper is hogging all the salmon!

Yum... fish...

Ow! Rico just kicked me!

Why did the petroleum go in the test tube?

Nobody cares Kowalski...

That was kinda mean Skipper

Fish... Yum...

Yeah, that was basicallyhalf a page. I think they were just passing it around while they were eating. Maybe later I'll ask Kowalski what the joke was with that petroleum thing.


End file.
